Obviously, I have been posting out of order lately – sorry if this is terribly confusing…

So this year Texas decided that we would be a family of pirates for Halloween – my first reaction was joy since I didn’t want to have to go as a storm trooper (I assume those costumes would be really hot). Unfortunately, as soon as I hit the interwebs for the perfect pirate family costume my joy quickly vanished into a sea of stiletto heels and miscategorized ‘adult women’ clothing. Who over the age of 19 could look good in this stuff? So I thought, maybe I am searching the wrong thing? After an innumerable variety of search queries, which concluded with the desperate search for ‘matronly pant suit adult woman’s pirate costume’ I realized that Halloween has simply become synonymous with whore.

I did finally find a costume on like page 92 or 146725 of my Google search that appeared to be age-and boy-type appropriate for the under 5 crowd. I ordered it immediately. When the package arrived the shirt, which in the photos was white and fairly long was a beige off-the-shoulder half shirt, the pants were skin tight and short and the ‘belt’ was a piece of pleather with no way to connect it to itself of your body.

Needless to say, if next year the storm trooper idea pops up I will just put an ice pack down my pants and deal with the potential of a heat related accident.