My tiny charge was in heaven last weekend while attending his school’s Fall Festival. His second Halloween costume (NFL-approved toddler-sized Dallas Cowboys uniform) was his choice for the event (his first costume of the year, a triceratops is SO a month ago and his third costume Buzz Lightyear had not arrived yet) . Being a born lover of the bounce (much like his mother) he spent the majority of his time in the toddler-sized bounce house. Oddly the other bounce house frequenters seemed to all be female (which is right up his little alley). While peering through the net door to observe the children in their natural habitat I heard my tiny charge utter the following “Hey ladies – I football’. I guess that pretty much sums it up.

Last night I realized that I constantly tell my tiny charge ‘I love you SOOOO much’ but perhaps this does not accurately convey to him how I feel ….so at bedtime I explained that I love him so much that it bubbles out of mommy. Thinking he could relate this to his recent bath time experience with bubbles that were out of control due to an unfortunate measuring mishap on my part – he thought for a minutes and looked up at me and said a single word…..mess.

Let me begin this blog  with a disclaimer – no – I do not feed my family KFC all the time. But – since I was going to be parenting solo last night and since my tiny charge is infatuated with kitchen (chicken) right now I decided to give their new grilled bucket a try. Let me tell you ladies and gentleman – I did not disappoint…so much so that Texas consumed FOUR pieces! Later in the evening after his bath (which was required to try and cut through the layer of chicken grease coating his entire upper body) – he lay on the floor of his room rocking back and forth repeating the following over and over…

Mommy, tummy full of kitchen…Mommy, tummy full of kitchen…..Mommy, tummy full of kitchen…..

Instantly upon the arrival of my tiny charge into this world my ability to watch television, movies, court cases, or even read new stories about child abuse dissolved. I literterally find myself physically ill when faced with a story or situation that involves children being hurt in any way. I recently read a CNN headline and launched into a panic attack because of the 10-word title of the peice (I did not even read the story)….so it got me thinking – how disguisting is it that up until the point I actually gave birth to my child that these things did not bother me. What kind of world are we building for our children when media of all kinds if flooded with violence laced images and messaging.

Bleck! Now I am going to have to spend counteless hours humming Bob Marley and thinking about David Cross jokes to get that horrorible headline out of my head. Thanks CNN…thanks alot.

My sister just went to work for a different PR firm in LA and this is one of their client’s (Pampers) projects they developed – the above is 105,793 photos of sleeping babies that their mothers submitted as part of a contest. It is more than 7,000 square feet! For the whole story you can go here.

My charge has moved on from last week’s dinosaur fascination to this week’s craze – Bandaids. He somehow managed to find a box of Toy Store Bandaids in his room (I think I purchased them for a first aid kit on his first birthday) – since then I have honestly not seen the little dude without a least one adhesive bandage gracing his little person somewhere (preferably on his legs). The sad moment came when the Toy Store Bandaid box finally emptied and Z resorted to a ballpoint pen drawing on a ‘yuckie’ i.e. plain Bandaid of Buzz Lightyear (it did not receive rave reviews from Texas sadly)…..so last night I told him we could go after dinner and get some more.

Since my tiny charge is the only charge I will ever have and because he is practically perfect I thought it completely reasonable to allow him to select four different character themed bandage boxes on our shopping trip. Much to Z’s annoyance his second selection (after Cars- his other recent love) was Hello Kitty – he then selected more Toy Story and Winnie the Pooh for good measure. Before departing for home he already had a Hello Kitty one on his leg and clutched the other three boxes in his sweaty little paws until we got home.

By the time I got upstairs for pjs he had an additional three on his leg and was refusing pants because he would not be able to admire them as easily. In the end he decided after all that – ‘Bandaid ouchie’ and we removed them all in time for him to got to sleep. All in a day’s work.

I wish all it took was some sugar to get my tiny charge to take his medicine. He has yet another ear infection – to compliment my reappearing sinus infection – and his often violent aversion to swallowing his antibiotics has become more than a little troublesome. Last night and this morning’s medicine  encounters ended with 33 lbs of toddler fury versus two frazzled and frustrated adults. I would assume at this point that he has actually ingested 2-3 ml of the 16 he should have taken by this point and he is due for his next dose in a few hours.

Tonight we try strawberry milk mixed with his medicine – the kid does not usually like sweet stuff and has never had flavored milk before but does LOVE any frozen yogurt that is pink so I am hoping that will work in our favor. Lord give me strength!

Last night was open house at Texas’ school so we all went up to watch the tiny charge in his natural habitat – he raced around the room showing us how he could paint, wash his own hands, and mop the floor (yep not kidding). But the crowing moment came when one of his afternoon teachers told us that earlier that day she had given the kids a snack of Cheerios and raisin mixed together. Texas picked all the raisins out of his bowl and politely asked for more. She explained to him that since the Cheerios and raisins were mixed together should could not just give him one or the other and that she would be happy to give him more when there were no more Cheerios in his bowl. He went back to his seat and thought for a moment then got up – carried his snack bowl to the garbage emptied out all the Cheerios and walked back to her asking for more.

I should be shocked and saddened by my tiny charges lack of respect for the value of food or wasteful ways but frankly – you have to admire the kid for thinking outside the box and technically he got the Cheerios out of the bowl – she did not clarify that meant eating them.

A few months ago I was struck by an overwhelming need (not want) to redecorate Texas’ nursery – after everyone told me not to mess with a good thing since he was still happy in his crib I decided to redecorate his bathroom instead. Since the tiny charge had of late been obsessed with ‘Diego boards’ – i.e. surf boards or anything that looked like one – for example my gardening knee pad was commandeered as a Diego board shortly after I received it as a gift. So I though – beach theme! I am happy to post today the first almost done photo of the work in progress. I am still waiting on fishing lures and bobbers to put in hurricane lanterns on the counter and am searching for a giant marlin or sail fish for above the waves but all in all – the tile that looks like sand, the mirror, the solar lanterns on top of the shelf (and yes, Z actually takes those outside to power up every day so they will glow at night) and of course the waves on the wall.

A new study by the journal Pediatrics found that watching a snippet of a ‘SpongeBob SquarePants’ cartoon negatively affected 4-year-olds’ attention spans. I am 37 and it negatively affects my will to live.