I feel it is fundamentally unfair that they will not allow children under six to attend thier sleep-over nights. Considering a protest.

My tiny charge since birth it seems has been extremely light-sensitive – I have asked several pediatricians if there is some test that he should have performed to ensure that this is not a sign of vision issues – to which I have received insightful feedback such as: “the sun is bright” and “babies react to bright light too” (maybe I missed my calling – 8 years of medical school to report back to a concerned parent that – the sun is bright seems easy enough). Over the last year of his life – since he has been able to actively ‘tell’ us about his aversion to bright sunlight – we have purchased at least five pairs of tiny toddler-sized sunglasses for him. We have Thomas the Train sunglasses, orange-tinted shades with smiling caterpillars on them, traditional-no-nonesense primary colored versions and I think we even managed to find a Diego pair…..the trick is that between ripping them apart and losing them in mall parking lots we have overall been unsuccessful with keeping the ‘bright’ away. Until last night……..faced with a 101 degree breeze and the glare of a mall parking lot – Texas gladly donned his stylish Thomas the Train shades while entering the mall atop his parent-steered trike and did not take them off for the remainder of our visit.

He was sized for new shoes while wearing them, enjoyed his sourdough bread and tiny corn dogs at Cheesecake Factory and later toured Dillards and Macys proudly staring out at the booming world of suburban commerce from behind his reflective lenses.

We have tackled the bright once and for all – as luck would have it we also have our first pediatric optometrist appointment tomorrow morning – just in case ‘the sun is bright’ is not the proper response to my concern – you can never be too sure you know.

Yesterday they had a petting zoo come to Texas’ school. He spent 10 glorious minutes surrounded by ducks, llamas, baby chicks, rabbits and assorted rodents.  Judging by the photos I have been privy to of the event – those 10 minutes were likely the longest of those animals lives.

Needless to say – after viewing a photo of my charge holding a rabbit by what I assume was an ear – last night was spent reflecting on some of the lessons he learned during the day:

“rabbit – pet – soft – hop ” – this chant followed by a practice soft rub on my arm or leg…..I guess it is a wonderful thing that his accidental cruelty made such an impression.

My charge has been obsessed with bugs ever since his first June bug encounter a few months ago (see post from April entitled Hey Bug!). This weekend while visiting a friend’s ranch in East Texas he experienced the sinister and painful side of his blossoming relationships with bugs – the fire ant bite. If you are not from the Lone Star State you might not be familiar with the hateful little creatures but they truly do burn and sting like fire when they bite you and often attack in droves – luckily Texas ended up with only two bites and has consequently learned to kiss them on his own which seems to bring him an overwhelming sense of relief when his memory fires up the unsettling memories of his encounter.

My hope is that the dreadful little fire ant has not tarnished the reputation of the gentle butterfly, playful inch worm or timid rolly polly hence forward….I remain hopeful.

Every want to be the hit of any occasion with guests under 10? Bust out the big pickle – not the gourmet version, not the handmade-tenderly-prepared-with-love version – nope, the $4.99 for 12-16  get-them-anywhere-Best-Maid version. During our latest kid-themed event I threw some big pickles in the back of a dump truck on ice and voila – the children go mad for them….

I am 5′ 1″  and Texas’ father is 5′ 5″ so how is it that my tiny charge is in line to not be tiny at all? We just got yet another milestone check-up under our belts earlier this week and it appears that he is now in the 80 percentile for both height and weight. I have instructed family members to scour our genealogy for less vertically challenges relatives – hoping that I can one day say to my prodigy – “Yep, you take after great-great-great uncle Harpo on your dad’s side’….Until that time I will revel in his over-sized block feet and beefy legs and think tall thoughts!

My charge is about to be two-years-old! His party preparations have been going on since January but in this last few days before the big event a strange calm has settled over the house. There could be many factors that are making this possible. My best bets for the top five are as follows in no particular order:

1. I have recently doubled my medication

2. If we all stay very still and quiet she will not notice us

3. The color-coded day-of-party assignment lists provided to friends and family is easing tension – it is always a plus to know what is expected of you

4. I have reached a new zen level and will remain stress-free forevermore

5. It is simply the calm before the storm

No matter the reason (I assume it is 2 but hoping for 4) – I am going to enjoy it while I can!

We have entered a new stage it is the ‘no’ stage but with a twist…..my child (much like his mother) is never at a loss for words and is not sparing with his use of words…thus in true Texas form he qualifies each ‘no’ that comes from his tiny little mouth…

“NO cuddle” when I snuggle too tight in the morning

“NO la la la” when I sing and he is not interested

“NO boing” when I make his favorite noise and he is not awake enough to enjoy it

“NO run” when the dog is getting too fast when they play

“NO ish” when he is done with his snack trap of gold fish crackers and wants to relinquish them

I am going to savor and enjoy this and hope that his NOs continue to amuse me…..we all know one day they will be followed with less adorable words…UUuuuuUGGgGhhHhhHHh

I realized as I was trying (unsuccessfully) to fall asleep the Friday night before Easter that I did not know the whole – Easter bunny schtick…..so I actually uttered the above words to Z as he was trying to fall asleep….’so what’s the deal with the bunny?’. He patiently explained that the Easter bunny hops around the world filling kid’s baskets with toys and hiding eggs….I find MANY issues (mainly logistical) with this scenario.

Issue No. 1 – Do we want our children growing up thinking that a bunny (part of the lagomorpha order – yet closely related to rodents) has managed to conquer the skill of space and time travel yet we (human adults) cannot figure out how to bring an affordable electric car to market or find two matching socks on Monday morning?

Issue No. 2 – Bunnies don’t even lay eggs? So how is this shape-shifting creature scoring all these millions of eggs he/she is hiding? I suspect foul-play.

Issue No 3 – Texas has a bunny family that lives at his school and trust me – based on our daily observations of these creatures – I just don’t think they are capable of this level of responsibility.

So – how did I handle all of these pressing issues on Easter morning? By filling not one but THREE baskets with toys for my tiny charge – by getting up extra early and leaving a trail of eggs down the stairs and out the back door for him to find and by repeatedly telling him how much the Easter bunny must love him to leave so much great stuff – I know I know – I am such a hypocrite!